I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
