Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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