Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You took a bar mat shot.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
