I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
