There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
