Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
