you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
