Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
