Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize
