called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
