YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
nutella sex= disaster
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
