I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Alive.
So much puke
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
