Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
