I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
