at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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