just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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