...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
