I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
