so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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