He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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