Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My vagina is officially offended.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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