I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
