i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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