Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
