I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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