If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
