I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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