I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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