therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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