i need an iv and a liver transplant
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
