Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
