My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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