This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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