i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
