sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
