i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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