Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
