its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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