i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
