So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
