Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
