I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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