Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
