She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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