what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
