Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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