mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
