When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
