Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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