im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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