I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dignity is for republicans.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
