i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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