She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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