We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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